Ghosts

Every person needs something to believe in. If we’re merely going through life, playing the games as others do, then what are we really living for? To do the same thing that others do? The truth is, we need something to believe in, something to fight for. Without that, we are but empty inside, merely going through the motions of life. What do you live for? What do you fight for? 

Without something we’re fighting for, we’re merely ghosts of time, drifting and fading away as time passes us by.

Bang.

Bang.

Tags: cowboy+bebop

Definitely gonna buy this one day.

Definitely gonna buy this one day.

A Beast Caged

I really wish I could give some humor to you guys, honestly. But, really, this hasn’t been the best week. In fact, it may have been one of the worst weeks thus far this school year. I cannot entertain any humor whatsoever, as much as I may like to.

If you are very close to me, you’ll understand why I’m so enraged, so negative, so disgusted. Never before have I hated someone like I do this person and I doubt I’ll ever hate anyone as much as I do him. Words cannot describe the strength of the emotion in my heart, burning and festing with rage. My heart yearns and aches to end him, to destroy him, dismantle him, break and snap him, rip and tear.

But I can’t. I am forced to sit and watch, hurting as I watch life unfold. My heart aches and throbs for action, for my wish to be fulfilled yet I cannot do a thing. Watching as he continues to bear destruction upon what I hold dear brings fury to my soul and fire to my heart. My fingers twitch to snap him in half, tear him in two, watch him cringe under me. But I am but a mere beast, caged, watching as his tormentors draw near.

Yet I wait for the cage to be unlocked…

Goals

This is wayyy late but I haven’t had a ton of time to really do a post. Anyways, I’ve never believed in the “New Year, New You” thing that everyone obsesses about. I think that if you want to change yourself, do it for you not because its a new year. This has been a process that I’ve been doing all year, and so here are my goals for this year (in no order):

1. Better My Diet - Namely, stop intaking so much sugar. Its finally kinda hitting me that I’m seriously at risk for diabetes. My granda has always had diabetes, so I never really recognized that I was at risk. However, this year, my dad was diagnosed with diabetes. Now, it isn’t like he’s going to die soon or anything of the sort, but he now has to live his life watching everything. I really don’t want to do that. And the other day, my girlfriend and I talked about how I consume far too much pop - in a sense, she’s right. So, I really want to start to develop a healthy lifestyle and limit my sugar intake.

2. Get Along With Roommate - I feel like I am copying my girlfriend in this sense, but, honestly, its a legitimate concern of mine. I recognize that I am not one of the easiest people to get along with but I still wish I can get along with my roommate in college. Having a good relationship with my roommate will make everything so much easier and make college so much more enjoyable.

3. Keep Improving My Work Ethic, Keep Improving My Grades - This one is pretty much self explanitory. I want to do well in high school but for college, I want to walk in the door swinging. I want to maintain a GPA of 3.7 throughout college and med school. A tall goal and a large order, but its about time I do enough now to prove how intelligent I really am.

4. Maintain My Relationship - Once again, feel as though I’m copying Alyssa, but still. I want to maintain the amazing relationship we have and, honestly, I think its only going to grow stronger in college.

Ten Day Challenge: Day Ten - One Confession

My girlfriend and I have discussed marriage and life after high school numerous times, alongside other things. I confess that I think I have finally found that “one” and that my life may be a lot more settled than most people’s lives are. We are an amazing unit whose weaknesses cover the other’s well. Further, we’ve gotten so attached to one another that there’s really no way we can go back. Which I’m okay with, honestly. Most people would simply say that you’re just in a high school fling, etc. The thing is, I’ve had a few close relationships, I’ve had plenty of flings and this isn’t similar or close to any of them. This is something absolutely new and amazing.

I know she’s the one and I’m fine with this.